Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Life is so fragile.

2 months ago, i visited my uncle with my mum cos he was unwell.

He was suspected of having stroke cos of those synthoms on him but he refused to see any doctor. We kept persuading him to do so but he was very persistant then.

Until one day, he was sent to the hospital cos something happened to him. After many tests & examines, doctor said he was dignosed with liver cancer instead of stroke. :(

He had to go for chemotherapy in order to survive. My aunt was being kept in the dark.

He knew he wasn't going to live for long. He cried when we visited him again.

Yesterday evening, he passed away.

The uncle whom always around but quiet at a corner during ocassions, the uncle whom secretly gave us $4 or $6 angbao during CNY, the uncle whom doesn't like to talk much but always holding a smile on his face is gone.

How fragile a life is? And within just a period of 2 months, so much things can happen so suddenly.

I guess, my aunt is the sad-dest person now, although she's always acting very strong on the surface.

Her life partner, the one who slept with her for ... at least 30 years, the one who is always by her side, the one who argued & quarrelled with her had moved on without her. How can she not be sad?

I'm always very depressed & emotional when i've to attend funeral, especially relatives. I couldn't help but keep thinking ... very far & wild.

I'll imagine if my love ones (parents, husband, whoever i love) leave me, how would i be able to take it. Than i'll have this 'solution' in my brain - 'I shall leave earlier than them so i will not be sad when they have to leave.'


Anyway, i will be skipping this funeral. Cos Raeann can't go & mummy doesn't want my imagination to run wild again. But i'm guilty for not being able to attend & i feel so much like going... How?

In any case, i hope he will rest in peace & be happy in 'the other world'.

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