Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Ugly creature... Psss.. Psss...

Psss... Psss...

WAH! There was a big small python in my office this morning!

I was late for work, as usual. Whahhahahahha

When i reached, everybody including my dad, bro & my neighbour were helping to catch the horrible creature.

My dad said the python is very small only. -____-"

Yucks! Snakes are ugly. So is 'Sian'. Cos both starts with letter 'S'. Boooooo...

AX & Ricky are saying the same thing, 'you're the biggest snake what!'

Wahahhahahah, yes lor. I'm always late for work ever since i was pregnant. And i always play Viwawa during my working hours, my Sushido is at level 46 now & nobody wants to play with me anymore... :(

But becos i'm born a 大小姐 so i'm given the privilege to do so. Sian, don't be jealous, ok?

Yes, i may have a unsuccessful marriage cos of my 小姐脾气 which Sian said so.

But i've a wonderful mum & dad with cute siblings & of cos a adorable daughter, which makes up a happy family. So, what's the matter if i don't have a husband?

I'm still waiting for Sian to email me.

No guts to email me yet got the cheek to keep tagging my tagboard. Buay paiseh, keep coming to people's territory & create trouble. 神经病!

No time for you crazy bitch/bastard! I've much better thing to do.

Ya, back to the snake topic. During lunch time, i went to research about snakes. Wah lau, it's really really 贰心.

My mum tells me some people loves to eat snake, as in eating real snake meat. She said it's good for the skin.

Eeeeeeeee

How to eat?!!!? See already will puke lor. Even beef i also don't dare to eat anymore. Cos i think of the cow, very poor thing.

Oh ya, i suddenly thought of something which i wanted to blog about few days ago but no time to do so.

I was talking to a very good friend on msn few days back. Shall not mention her name cos it's not very convenient to do so.

I got si bei agitated while chatting with her.

Not she make me angry, is her ex bf.

KNNBCCB.

That man got the cheek to fuck woman without condom & then ask those poor ladies to go for abortion with merely $500!

Si Gi Na! Si bei Yao Xiu.

Nbz. Don't let me see him on the street (although i didn't see him before)!

If he got the guts to shoot in his sperm, than he must have the guts to bear the responsiblity.

CB. Thought is fun si bo? Those babies will come back & haunt him, hopefully.

Wah, i'm very sio now. Blog again soon!

Friday, July 25, 2008

KPO reader - Sian

'Sian' keeping popping out of nowhere to tag on my entries claiming ridiculous & untrue things which he/she assumed to be.

I think, 'Sian' either don't understand english or is too imaginative.

I've never seen such a free & KPO person before.

I removed my tagboard cos 'Sian' is damn fucking irritating. If he/she got guts, email & scold me. Don't use tagboard, it's too troublesome.

I think in future, he/she will be even more SIAN. Cos no tagboard for him/her to attack me & i can scold him/her whatever i like here but he/she teh liao his/her lan pa/neh neh cos he/she doesn't have the guts to email me at all.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Boo hoo. Go away lar, you're not welcome here!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Marriage Help

Do you remember the wedding vow you made to your partner when the day you got married?

I vivdly remember there's something like:

1) Till-Death-Do-Us-Part
2) For Better or For Worse

I don't know how many people actually stay put to their unhappy marriage just becos of this vow or for the kids.

Divorce rates are rising & birth rates are depreciating in Singapore. :(

In future, we will see lesser & lesser cute, adorable babies on the streets. Women nowadays learn to be smarter & refuse to give birth cos...

Giving birth = Commiting slow suicide.

Baby Raeann is slowly killing but also entertaining me with all her movements, words & laughter.

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Her everyday favourite past time - messing with plastic bags.

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Potato chips face.

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Sweetie pie.

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My favourite wink & smile. Her new toy - Winnie The Pooh Car from her papa.

ZY came to visit her yesterday as he is going off to KL today till Saturday. I was at home with her cos she refused to wake up in the morning for me to go prepare myself. She slept for a straight 12 hours from 9pm - 9am. She must be very tired so i also can't bear to disturb her sweet dreams.

We went out for dinner together as a little family, for little Raeann. But we didn't talk much cos somehow, there's a gap between us already. I can see Raeann is very happy cos it's been quite some time she went out together with her daddy & mummy.

And once again, i'm confused.

I went to do a research on 'Marriage Counselling'; how to salvage a problems marriage. I wanted so much to know, whether the biggest problem lies with who that makes this marriage turn out like that. I admit i have faults in dealing it.

I wasn't as patience as before after pregnant & i'll get irritated by even a single bit of issue. I can't help it, it's the hormones changes in me.

This article is quite ... helpful in some ways!

Life has roadblocks and will always be full of obstacles, threatening the stability of married life. It is how you and your partner are able to handle these disruptions that determine the sustainability of your life together.

Sometimes problems can be easily overcome. Some times they need work. And other times they feel completely insurmountable. The good news is that there is a lot of marriage help available for couples having problems with their marriage relationships.

Marriage and family counseling is one option for an unhappy marriage. But sometimes it can just take one partner being prepared to change that can make the difference (and because you're reading this I'm guessing that person is you!). It isn't defeat to accept that YOU are the one that needs to change to make your relationship into what YOU want it to be. And often enough a change in one person will bring about a change in your partner even without your asking them to do anything differently simply because you've changed and the old games can't be played the same way anymore.

The best marriage is built on a respect for each other and more than a passing nod to your wedding vows.

Remember your wedding vows? While it can seem like a distant memory, it is important to remind yourself that you made a commitment to stay married to your spouse. For better or for worse is still very much a strong argument for getting - and staying - married.

People in fact like the "for better or for worse" aspect of marriage because it tells them that no matter what happens, no matter what marriage problem may arise, their husband or wife will be .

It goes beyond feeling like you have a security or safety net to prevent divorce. It's the knowledge that they can count on someone when times are bad, and that alone generates a considerable degree of peace of mind and a sense of calm for the soul.

And here's a romantic - but true - notion of marriage, to which happily married couples will agree: "Marriage moves us from ego to we-go".

The single self shifts from me first to the sacred union of us - values such as love, honesty, respect, fidelity and dependability form the heart of a good marriage. Little kindnesses keep the pump working. Without a pump, the heart would struggle and eventually stop working. With it, everything keeps running smoothly.

And how about the simplest reasons for marriage such as: silly little jokes, hugs and cuddling, traveling together, laughing together, quiet times together, mutual friends, sexual intimacy, pillow talk, kissing and making up? Can anyone really put a price tag on these simple pleasures? Don't they echo the saying that the best things in life are free?

*Read those in bolds or underlined.

I read it again & again. It's so true!

I really hope my little princess will keep me moving, i don't wish to stay put anymore. Staying put = unknown answer. I need an answer or a solution!

2 choices for me now:

Divorce & get a better man.

or

Salvage this marriage & build a better bondings.

We've serious communication breakdown. He doesn't understand what i'm talking about at all. When i talked to him face to face, he either don't reply or answer me rubbish which will upset me. So i used sms to tell him how i feel. But again, he will get the wrong idea of what i'm trying to imply. My english too chim or i'm speaking in a bangali language that he don't understand what i'm trying to say?

I hope ti-gong, dua pek gong, hong niang, ma zor or whatever god can come to my dreams tonight & offer me some good help or suggestions! If this man is not for me, then 长痛不如段痛. If this man is meant for me, HELP ME TO KNOCK SOME SENSE INTO HIM or CHANGE ME INTO SOMEONE THAT CAN SUITS HIS LIFESTYLE.

I seriously need to make a good choice now!

*3 fucking stupid mosquitos flying around my office the whole day, disturbing me. I managed to kill 2, still got 1 more. "You're not gonna get away, stupid mosquito"!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

First Love

I believe everybody have heard this song before; First Love - Utada Hikaru.

It's been ages since i last heard it. And i happen to hear it again when i accompany mummy to Sheng Siong last week. I didn't know Sheng Siong become so Jpop.

Anyway, this song remind me of someone. Whahahhahaha

Not ZY, Not Ricky.

Just someone.

Very nice lor, although i don't know Japanese at all but this song is definately very meaningful. :)

First Love - Utara Hikaru



Saigo no kisu wa tabako no flavor ga shita
Nigakute setsunai kaori
Ashita no imagoro ni wa
Anata wa doko ni irundarou
Dare wo omotterundarou

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how

You are always gonna be the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashi uta utaeru made

Tachidomaru jikan ga
Ugoki dasouto shiteru
Wasureta kunai kotobakari

Ashita no imagoro niwa
Watashi wa kitto naiteru
Anatawo omotterundarou

You will always be inside my heart
Itsumo anata dake no basho ga aru kara
I hope that I have a place in your heart too
Now and forever you are still the one
Ima wa mada kanashii love song
Atarashii uta utaeru made

You are always gonna be my love
Itsuka darekato mata koi ni ochitemo
I'll remember to love you taught me how
You are always gonna be the one
Mada kanashii love song
Now and forever

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I'm still in seh seh mode now. Feel like blogging but don't know what to blog. My life's bored and i don't want to make my reader bored too.

Raeann can call 'Papa' & 'Mama' now. Every morning, she will 'pa pa pa pa pa pa'. Than i will say 'Pa your head', call 'Mama'. LOL

When she wants people to carry or asking for help, she will call 'ma ma'. I think she's calling my mum & not me.

But she eng eng always will 'pa pa pa pa'. Sigh

Can someone tell me why is she so naughty anot? She also super active. Climb here and there, pull here & there. I tired but she still not tired. Climb table, chair, stairs, everywhere. Aiyo.

When i scold her, she will 'pa pa pa pa'.

When i stare at her, she will use her finger to poke my eyes.

I don't dare to offend her!

真的认输了!

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*She scratches her own eyes again. Sigh

See lor, clothes basket she also want to climb in & out. Sometimes i wonder she's a girl or boy. How come other baby girl so gentle & she's so rough?

I always wanted a girl cos i thought girl will be more tame & easier to handle.

But NO! I'm wrong.

My girl is sooooooooooooo special, extremely active + naughty.

But no matter what, i still love her alot lah!

She knows how to peck my cheeks, her kiss melts my heart!

*love love Raeann*

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Depression

I dropped 3KGS in less than one week.

I don't know to be happy or sad, cos i'm feeling so weak & lethargic right now.

I was on leave for 3 days & i just came back to work today.

So much things happened these few days...

I brought Raeann for a swim at the sport complex opposite my house on Saturday evening. :)

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She was scare but she still want to play. She kept hitting the water until her whole face was wet. The water was damn cold & thus i bring her up after a short while.

I don't know what happen to me on Sunday. I kept crying & crying for nothing. Than i packed my clothes and left home. I don't know what i want & i don't know what am i doing. I made my mum very worried about me. I'm so sorry.

I knew i had depression.

Mummy brought me to see a psychiatrist on Monday located at Mount Elizabeth. The bill came up to $310, fucking expensive. And i must go every 2 weeks for 6 months. -_-"

How serious it can get.

In fact, my depression started when i was pregnant. After so many 'blows' & husband did not show any concern at all. Than after birth, it got worsen after doing a lousy confinement at in law's place. Now, facing divorce, worsen x 10.

I need to take 5 types of medicines everyday. And this 5 types of medicines made me so drowsy & sleepy. I think it's the motive of the medicine. Sleep; so that i won't think so much.

Baby Raeann accompanied me through these few days. When i sleep, she sleeps with me. :) I'm so happy to see her. My family have been always there, giving the best support when i most needed it now.

I brought Raeann to collect my Swarovski hp charm at VivoCity alone on Tuesday. I was power, isn't it? I carried her all the way. We went to Haage-Daz cafe for some ice-cream waffles. Than to Toy'r us to get her some toys. She sat inside the trolley, holding on both edges, scare that she will fall & looking after the bags. So adorable! Aftermath, we went to pack some food & we cabbed home.

We both slept from 6pm till 9pm after we bathe & settled ourselves. She doesn't want to wake up lor, she was so tired. But i woke her up cos i need to change her pamper. She went to play with my parents for awhile and we went back to zzz at 11pm. LOL

Yesterday morning, dad helped out to look after Raeann while i went to court. Mummy was with me all the while cos my whole body was ... strength-less. She spoke to ZY and i think he's mistaken that he will be fine or jailed if i get the PPO. Well, he will only be charged if he hit me again after i get the PPO.

But anyway, i withdrew the charge, as promised. I'm too tired to fight & argue anymore. I just walked off after that, without taking a look at him. I changed my handphone number too. Cos i don't want to get in any contacts with him anymore, neither i want to see him again.

I actually pleaded with him during my depression mode, which is so not me. What i can say is, for the sake of Raeann. When i bring her out, i see people with one family, i feel guilty towards her. I blamed myself for not giving her a complete family.

BUT, ZY gave me so many unreasonable terms and conditions and he said i must accept than he is willing to get back with me.

He knew i had depression & he said i was 'gei siao'.

And he smsed me not to disturb him when i was crying alone outside.

I will never ever forget & forgive him on this.

I'm not depressed anymore now. My mind is very calm & i know it VERY WELL that this stupid idiot is not a good husband at all.

HE is the one who caused my depression and HE is always not there when i needed him most.

Don't confuse my mind again, telling me to give him another chance, this & that. Cos, IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

AI SEH. It's my first time getting so slim. I wonder how much slimmer i will get... I've to thank him cos he helped me to save the cost to slimming centre.

I'm still very drowsy now & i can't concentrate on doing anything at all.

Gtg people. Will blog again soon~ :)

Friday, July 11, 2008

Super Mummy!

Just back from lunch with Samuel...

He's getting married!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on 20-9-2009. Whahahahhah

Congrats Samuel!

My friends around me are all getting married. I'm so happy for them. :)

He has choosen 乐满楼 to hold his wedding dinner. He's asking me to help him think how to propose to his gf. He asked his gf to choose ring or rolex for the proposal. LOL He think that ring is not practical...

Hmm... I told him, most important is his gf must like it mah! Chey!

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Super Mummy Audition

I said i don't want to join, cos i don't want to go on stage. And so, i went only at 3pm to see those mummies. End up ar, one also didn't get to see & kena drag to join also. -_-"

SO FUCKING HOT! The weather is so horrible, i was melted.

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Pontianak Sorry, it's Ponsak. (Don't know how to spell.)

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See my mum?

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Raeann scratch her own eyes that day.

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I love u, darling.

I doubt i will get selected. Cos ar, everything they ask me, i say i scare, dunno, etc. Than they asked if i've got any talent, i said 'nil'. Than they ask why i want to join, i said 'for fun & the cash prizes'. Whahahahahhaha

It's true what. I hope & pray they don't ever show it on tv. Si bei paiseh. TMD.

No more next time man. 20K sounds very tempting but it's not easy lo. They need to compete on cooking, savings, etc etc.

I'm good at nothing. Cook maggi mee & egg can anot?

Eh, i found this pic in my camera.

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Raeann loves to drive alot. I want to hear her call ... mummmmmmmmmmmmmmy!

Gonna sleep without her tonight, so sad. :(

A brand new start!

I've start up a new blog!

AND this blog shall contains nothing except...

LOVE & HAPPINESS!

Baby Raeann started talking!!!

She can call my mum already... goes 'ma ma ma'.

Other than that, she said ... 'da da da da da da da'.

Haha, dunno what's she talking about...

I'm contented watching her grow. :)