Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Some random complains...

My blog has been rather 'peaceful' lately cos i've not been complaining for quite some time. LOL

It's not that i'm leading a peaceful & happy life now whereby i've nothing to complain at all but i'm just too busy + lazy to type it out.

Since i'm free now, i shall do abig bit of rantings here.

I really really envy those mummies that still can have their freedom after birth. Cos they've people they can trust to look after their kids for them so that they can go out and enjoy peacefully.

For me, i've been very very tied down since i've Raeann. I've no time for myself, lack alone my friends.

Even if i have that 1 chance to go out, maybe once every 6 months, ZY will bombard my phone and ask me everything under the moon. -_-" I can't help but feel super irritated & decide not to answer his call. All the things that he asked are plainly ridiculous questions or requests.

Eg: 'Where's Raeann's chou chou?'

How the hell would i know when i'm not even at home? I don't have 千里眼 what.

Otherwise, he will ask me to pack food for him. Ok, i'm fine with packing food for him. But he's such a fussy eater that he wants me to go here or there (a detour) to buy the food he feel like eating. Which means i'll be spending another 1-2 hours just to buy food for him.

And at times, he will ask me to buy MAC when i'm in the mid of expressway. So funny right? Can't he just dial 6777 3777 himself and pay the $3 delivery charge? Oh, even dialing for delivery, he will ask me to do. He's just that fucking lazy!

Most of the time, i have to pay also.

I told him this morning, '我觉得我的命很苦'.

He replied, '你不知道有多好命啊!' (-_______-")

I asked him to 'touch' his heart & think properly.

As his wife, i get nothing from him... No surprises, no gifts, no initiatives, no thoughts, absolutely NOTHING!

I've to help him to do his company's work, look after his daughter, do everything for them & i don't get a single cent from him. I still gotta work and pay for almost everything. I'm the one paying for Raeann's milk powder, diapers, school fees & etc. He uses his $ to buy 4d, play billiard & buy games/dvds then always complain no $ & ask me to treat him for dinner everytime.

I cannot go out cos he did not even try to handle Raeann by himself. (He will call & ask me to go home fast cos Raeann's looking for me.)

So basically, i've no freedom at all.

He's simply throwing everything to me despite the problems i'm facing now.

Tell me, in what way i'm consider 好命 huh?

Sometimes, i really can't help but to compare cos all my friends have really good hubby. :(

But i'm learning to be more optimistic now. I always tell myself, 'life's fated'.

I reminded myself everytime, 'not to compare' cos 同人不同命.

I am sway. Period.

Since i can't change the fact, i need to learn how to accept it.

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Was clearing my emails and i saw this email from Jing2.

P/S: Kindly take some time to read as this a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here and those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship...

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DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, 'How do I know if I married the right person?' I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, 'It depends. Is that your husband?' In all seriousness, she answered 'How do you know?'

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit).

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything.. That's why it's called 'falling' in love... Because it's happening TO YOU..

People in love sometimes say, 'I was swept off my feet..' Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, 'Did I marry the right person?' And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.

You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't 'find' LASTING love. You have to 'make' it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression 'the labor of love.' Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... you can 'make' love.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision'... Not just a feeling.

Remember this always:

'It is pre-destined who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'


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