Thursday, June 4, 2009

Now i know why...

I'm feeling relatively down for the whole morning and i'm wondering why?

Now i know. My aunty visited me. No wonder i'm soooo sleepy even though i sleep so early every night.

Bobo treated me to Ajisen for dinner last night. I'm si bei super full cos i've been eating since 12pm yesterday. Then later i treated her to Haagen-Dazs ice cream again. It cost me $24.60 for 6 small scoops. It's very exp but damn yummy lah!

Something happened last night...

Bobo was walking alone in front while me & Raeann were strolling behind, a distance away from her. Then there were this group of guys gossiping about me! Cos Bobo heard & was laughing away.

This group of guys walked past me when Raeann suddenly grabbed on my leg & asked me to carry her. So this guy turned to his friends and say, '你看后面有一个漂亮妈妈!哇,那么年轻就结婚. Haiz'.

I didn't know at all. All i know was he turned & looked at me for 2nd glance. So i called out Bobo was i wanna tell her something. And this guy was completely shock & paiseh cos he knew Bobo heard everything he said and would definately tell me. He was dumb-founded for 2 mins & his friend kept asking him what happen.

Bobo was laughing away and i asked her what happen. I thought there was something on my face or what. Then she tell me after that.



This is yummylicious i tell u! Fran Patisserie.

The berries cream is really thick. I've been indulging it since last night. SO NICE LOR! Bought it the Japanese snack shop (Yamakawa Super) @ Jurong Point. $4.20 for 12 sticks only. Raeann also love it alot! TRY IT!

I've been thinking alot these few days. Cos ZY has been pestering to come back & i'm so hesistant to let him back cos i'm really enjoying my life to the max now. I guess he is too. So why he wanna come back? His reason was, don't wish to give Raeann an incomplete family.

Ok fine. I agreed with this too. Raeann is the most innocent victim that always suffer becos of us. But is she suffering? She can't express & we all don't know.

I'm really tired trying out & letting the history repeats again & again. Nobody just understand how i feel. But luckily this time round nobody tried to talk me out anymore. Cos i'm sick of saying or hearing this topic.

Issit really hard to maintain a marriage? Issit really hard to get a man who really understand what i need?

My ideal husband is very simple only. Why he makes it sounds such a difficult task?

All i need is someone who can listen to me & be more considerate to my feeling. And not when i talk, his eyes & brain on the TV and i get NO reply from him. Like that i might as well talk to the wall, right?

And i need him to help me as well. Not throwing every single rubbish to me, ordering me around like i'm a maid & there he is enjoying his billiard session.

Which means, he will only talk to me when he needs me to do something for him. And he think is right. He doesn't know i'm unhappy even though i tell him that i'm unhappy straight to his face. He would simply ignore me & treat me like i'm transparent.

So, whats the point of him being around? He brings me nothing but work.

He doesn't give me any happiness. He doesn't give me any care or concern. He restricted my life from only work & home. He gave me tons of work to do. All he care for is his friends and billiard only.

I'm really very very sick of him already. Until now i feel so numb of whatever shit i'm treated.

I really don't mind being a single mother for i've phobia of marriage already.

It's such a mental torture. I just wanna be happy, so difficult meh?

We're still so young. We shouldn't waste each other's time anymore.

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