Tuesday, February 15, 2011

有苦难言

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V.day dinner with Bo & Raeann

But i vomitted everything out after i reached home! WHAT A WASTE! The pill can prevent me from vomitting but it will make me very fucking drowsy and that's why, i didn't consume it last night!

Raeann too, vomitted everything out cos she got choked from crying. She keep asking me to carry her everywhere (she don't do that to me in the past), even at home, which i'm unable to cos she's not light lor! And now, if i refuse to do anything, she will fuss and whine, WHICH I EXTREMELY HATE IT!

She cried till vomit lor, i caned her twice on her fat thigh after that! I really 忍无可忍 liao!

Many people told me not to cane or scold her so often now becos it's NORMAL that she behaves lidat! I tried, but it doesn't work out talking to her nicely. I really cannot take it cos she wasn't lidat in the past! Now ah, she's really extremely naughty & irritating lor!

Sometimes i'm thinking, issit worth it anot? Becos i'm pregnant now, she has been trying real hard to do crazy things to attract my attention. And i don't deny spending lesser time with her now due to all those stupid vomitting, i simply got no mood to entertain her at all. Not only her, i totally got no mood to work or do anything at all! I made alot of mistakes at work! SIGH

At times when i feel helpless, i feel like giving it up so much! I even habour alot of bitchy & selfish thoughts which is not right to do so at all! I think it's just me. I'm one selfish bitch. I can't accept the fact of being pregnant again. I can't give up what i have now. I don't wish to sacrifice myself for another time.

But i can't deny those facts either, that everyone around me are trying their best to help me and ZY has been really nice to me, helping out whenever he can, giving in to me, bringing me everywhere to satisfy my cravings, buying whatever i desire if he can afford.

And all they asked for is, for me to take good care of myself so that baby will be safe & healthy.

Such a simple task and i can't do it! TSK!

I guess i need to slap myself awake! "Wake up Joanne, WAKE UP!"

7 comments:

  1. Don't think so much ya. Maybe Raeann scare you love the baby more than her, that's why. Maybe you can start telling her that the baby belong to her too, she also must love the baby all that. Let her know even with the baby, you haven't forgotten her ;)

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  2. Ya, that's what people told me lor, she's jealous! But sigh... No matter how i tell her nicely, she's getting from bad to worse lor!!!

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  3. that time when my friend was pregnant, her daughter also stick to her like superglue. only wants her to carry, even go toilet, she also cry like mad. my colleague told me its normal for the child to behave like that. i think let what niuniu says, myst start to tel raeann and let her b part of ur pregnancy, like that she will start to feel better and not behave like that.

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  4. Huishan,

    YA YA YA, she's literally lidat now, 很烦咯! I'm not one who can stand NOISE, i hate it. So the more i cannot take it when she keep on whining with me, feel like slapping her so many times but keep asking myself to CONTROL.

    Then ah, she became more and more YA-YA now, ask her don't do, she will deliberately do and show me!

    Really BTH till i don't feel like looking after her anymore!

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  5. Maybe you can hoax her.. Buy her a gift, tell her "u see, baby love u too. ask me to buy you a gift so u must love baby too ya?"

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  6. My SIL told me hor, buying her a gift saying it's from bb is when i've given birth in the hospital. Does it work out now???

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  7. By the time u gave birth, already months ahead le. You can start right now? Maybe because this 3years, she's the only one so she thought someone is replacing her. Must tell her and prove to her u all still loveeee her!

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