Thursday, May 24, 2012

Life of a FTWM

Disclaimer : I'm not trying to prove how noble i am. Just an estimate account on what most FTWM does. And not what some people deemed us as "free" and "good life". I've friends whom are doing more. Besides working, they still gotta do what housewives do; cooking, doing household chores & looking after kids. I really wonder how they do it man!!

FTWM = Full Time Working Mum (Women who have to work for living!)

It really makes no sense & justice when people said that being a FTWM has good life. In what way? Tell me?

We're as busy as a full time housewife. And i mean, housewife = one who has to cook, do household chores & look after kids at the same time. I really salute housewives alot, becos i know i can never do it.

Me, as a FTWM, shall elaborate my routines and you judge it yourself, if being a FTWM has good life.

Everyday, i'm so deprived of sleep becos...


I've to wake up at 7am or earlier to prepare for work. Not only preparing myself, i've to prepare my kids as well cos i need to send them to my aunt's on the way to work.

At Work

Well, i admit, sometimes i'm super free at work. But there are times when i get super busy too. Like these few days, i'm rushing accounts. Sent my dad to hospital for reviews yesterday morning and i need to bring him there again tomorrow morning cos his BP shooted up to 240/100. Doctor is worried that he will get stroke. My dad is down with TB by the way and he has to go for check-ups every now and then.

Even during my free time at work, i don't get the freedom to go out as and when i like or meet friends for lunch everyday. Cos i might be summon back anytime when they need me.

And on rainy afternoon, i've to send/pick Raeann to/from school.

After Work

I usually leave the office after 6pm now. Then to my aunt's place to pick my kids and home. Then i've to wait for my mum's maid to finish her cooking so that i can pass meimei to her and go shower. That will be like 7+pm already.

I've to term her as 'my mum's maid' becos she is NOT my maid. She doesn't help me to look after my kids. Becos whenever i ask her to help, she will use this as an excuse not to do all her household chores. And so, i never. Only when i need to bathe or prepare, i will ask her to help me for awhile. And i mean, not longer than 30 minutes.

I cannot leave meimei without attendance becos she's sooooooooooooooooooooo active. She never stop moving, unless she's sleeping. But she don't nap alot! Her panda eyes are getting worse each day! :(

After shower, i'll take a quick 5 minutes dinner then take over my kids again. If Raeann has homework, i've to teach her. I try to put meimei to bed by 8:30pm so that i can have time for myself & Raeann. Sometimes, Raeann will sleep together with meimei, at 8:30pm or slightly later. Then at 9pm, i'll do my daily 30 minutes exercise. This is provided nobody disturbed meimei up. The husband and Raeann are extremely good at this. They will always do that and throw meimei back to me, saying "she is looking for u"! =.= And i've to force her to bed again.

I used the word 'force' becos she has sleeping problem; difficult to fall asleep but wakes up very easily. ZY has never put her to bed before, becos he said he don't know how to.

This is my usual weekdays routine.

Weekends - Saturday

To me, my weekdays or weekends make no difference. Cos i've to wake up when my kids wake up, can be as early as 6am.

Then, feed, bath, change, scold, pack & etc, all alone. The husband will not be at home.

Meimei seldom nap!!! And when she does, she don't nap longer than 30 minutes.

Usually, i'll take a quick shower when she nap.

I've to skip the 30 minutes exercise on the weekends becos i'll be too exhausted by the end of the day.

Weekends - Sunday

Ahhh, i love this day the most! Becos mummy will be at home to help me with the kids, either one. But sometimes, i need to report back to CCK lor. Will feel extremely sian about it, not becos i don't like that place, but becos i'm too tired and Sunday is my ONLY rest day.

Cock Ups

1) Days when the kids are unwell. OMG, i fear this THE MOST! Becos my kids hor, ALWAYS vomit in the middle of the night whenever they cough. It just happened last night. I tweeted about it.

P/S : Sorry, should be 意识 instead.

2) The husband refused to sleep on the floor, he complained here pain, there pain. So i let him sleep on the bed with the kids and i sleep on the floor; mattress. BUT, the kids will wake up in the middle of the night to look for me. So ah, when Raeann wakes up, i will ask her to sleep on the floor with me.

Then, maybe about 1 hour later, meimei will wake up and look for me too. So i've to move to the bed to coax & sleep with her. And then, Raeann will wake up again (sometimes to pee), nagging why i never sleep with her, so i've move down again.

So actually, the whole night i'm moving up and down, up and down, sleep badly deprived. It's happening everyday, for the past 1 week.

Dread Leaving the House Now

Friends said, "come out lah, bring your kids along, i help u look after". Thank you all, i appreciate it very much but well, i don't wanna take the challenge.

Becos meimei is not as sociable as Raeann, she dislikes skinny people. Unless there are friends' kids who can click well with Raeann, if not i'd rather stay at home.

Even when ZY offered to bring us out, i turned him down many times. Just imagine this scenerio...

Just sat down, feeling hungry and tired after a long day, waiting for dinner to be served, Raeann said she wanna pee. So i've to bring her to the toilet. Just started eating, meimei poo-ed. So i've to bring her to clean and change. And when i'm back with meimei, Raeann spilled water all over herself and the husband ordered me to bring her to the toilet to blow dry her top. I cannot even have a proper meal.

This really happened, on our wedding anniversary. No surprise, no gift, no sweet words, but be maid, on our wedding anniversary.

The only time when i can have peace is when...

I'm inside the toilet.

The only time when i can relieve my stress/meet-up with my friends is during...

My off day, which happens only ONCE a month.

So now, tell me, am i leading a good life??? Am i? I'm not saying i'm leading a miserable life cos i knew there are worst. I've always count my blessing for this. But i'm confirm NOT leading any good life lor.

I feel like crying while typing all these. (Becos i miss my freedom so much.)

Please continue to stay positive, Joanne.


  1. bu yao ku. U r a strong woman. Kids grow up very fast one. I really admire ur determination. I can't do it. If I nv sleep enough, my joints will inflam and I wil have difficulties moving around. I am just 25. Don think so much. Crying can b a form of stress release too. Jia u!

  2. Hi babe... Seriously hor... This is the life of a mum.. But when u see ur kids getting close to u... That is the best acheivement:)

  3. Hey Desiree,

    Yeap, i know this is the life of a mum, that's y i never complain. My purpose of this post is to shut those who judged FTWM. Heard of people said before, being a FTWM has good life.

    To me, being a FTWM or housewife are all very 辛苦 and tiring. I'm lucky enough cos i need not do household chores (yet). I cannot imagine next time... So not looking forward to it.

    Btw, my kids are extremely close to me leh. I don't really feel any achievement but feel suffocated instead. HOW AH?

  4. Don b sad,I understand how u feel. This is a life of a mom... I'm a fthw. Even worst uh? Nanny cum maid. Haha! No chois it's not for others but our own children. ;)

  5. And ya,the only place we feel relax is in the toilet.. Lmao

  6. Omg, full time house wife, salute salute!

    I cannot be one cos I can't cook, lol.

    加油 Leen!

    No lah. Not sad anymore. Just felt very injustice when people goes "so gd life u". My life is not miserable but also cannot be said as 'gd' lor. Just an average mother's life!

  7. I'm also a ftwm mother of a baby and a toddler, and like u i'm tired max!! Always not enough sleep, and on top of taking care of kids, have to clean house during weekend. People always tells me things will get better when baby is bigger.

    i hope so lor!

  8. for the start, i want to say you're the only blogger who i can 'enjoy'(using '' becos, seldom u blog unhapi stuffs) reading w/o posting any pic.

    i like yr straight forward character and no act act.

    i also ever heard my friend who is mother of 2, complaining about the boring and tired life(esp when kid is still very young age). so jia you, you can do it de.

  9. Ya lor.. My work also quite hectic.. Don know if I can even be like u when I have kids....

  10. Hi pretty mummy,

    Mind telling do Aunty Jamilah massage really work to flatten your after giving birth tummy? because i don't want to waste money on useless effort. I need effortively tummy flatten. Thank u so much. Coz every cents spending is on myself. Thanks!

  11. Gal, Jia you. Everything is not easy. But I really salute you for being able to handle all these challenges. stay positive!

  12. 一起加油吧! 妈妈都是伟大的! ; )

  13. Hi Grace,

    Yeap, many people tell me the same thing too, but u think so? I don't. Cos when they grow up, we will have more worries for them. It's maybe until the day they settle down, then we can release our responsibility. But we will be very old by then.

  14. Thank u Vivian, Ling and Leen. Yeap, i know i can do it! :)

  15. Thank you Anonymous 1 too! Thanks!!!

  16. Hi Anonymous 2,

    Yeap, i think Jamu massage really helps alot in the tummy slimming part. U can see results one. Not necessary Aunty Jamilah, all Jamu massages will help!


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