Thursday, June 28, 2012

Career or Family

I finally understand why people said it's very hard for woman to handle career and family together.

To some, career = work at a fixed time, getting a fixed salary. But to me, career = climbing up step by step, get promoted, earning more and more money, which required alot of time and hard work.

Two weeks ago, i was so firmed in changing my job next year (i've found my direction) and i've decided to place my kids in the childcare and employ a maid to look after them.

Then i told the husband about it. He said something that made me pondered, for days.

P/S : My husband is very against to the idea of me working outside, since many years ago. So he will come up with all sorts of reasons and excuses.

He said, "Most of women (married with kids) who focused on career will end up having broken marriage becos they have no time for the kids and husband. And Raeann is going to Primary One soon, you have to be there to watch over her.".

Then my heart and mind started to waver again... Sigh

Well, i dare not say my kids will become angels with me supervising them. But i can be sure that they will turn devils if i'm not doing so, especially Raeann, she's smart at the wrong areas. Meimei is still a baby so i can't judge yet.

And i started to think further and further, weighing which is more important. I remember reading this sentence somewhere...

"No amount of toys or money spent on your kids can be compared to the time you spent on them."

If i want to make more money, i will have to work hard, work late and maybe work during the weekends (sometimes). Therefore, i won't have so much time for them anymore.

In fact, i've alot of ambitions. But i hate myself for not being harsh enough, which set me to what i'm today. Becos whenever i wanna do something, i'll think of the consequences & everyone else first. Good or bad?

I know i only have myself to blame.


  1. I think you still can go ahead to have a new career but maybe not next year. postponed your plans. it's never too late to start off anything.

    there is this saying, "it's better late than never."

    you are still not old even when your kids grow up.

    so jiayou ba!

  2. I agree with what Vivian says. Postpone Ur wish for career change. When Raeann n Raechelle are older, u r still young! I truly believe in spending quality n quantity time with the kids as they grow very fast!

  3. Hi Huifen & Huishan,

    Thank you for your comments & advises.

    Sigh, sometimes it's the timing and opportunity. If missed it, don't know can wait till how long later.

  4. Don't worry friend. it will never be too late. =)

  5. Dun worry so much. Like Vivian says its never too late~

  6. stranger passing by..:) I'm in the same dilemma as you. Women really can't have it all lor. I'm now working full time 9 to 6pm kind, and i donno what to do when my kids are older. Should i stop work, and take care of them? or should i continue to forge on? i have been given good career opportunities by my boss, but because of my indecisiveness, i feel very very stuck.

    haihs..i know of this career lady, who stop working to be a full time housewife when she realised tat her daughter is failing at her exams! she said it was time to step in and stop working when she saw how badly her daughter is doing without her supervision..

    her own mum is taking care of her kids, but at the end of the day, they are still your own kids, and you have to be responsible for them. Not others..haihs..


  7. Hi Gigi,

    I was so happy when i read your comment cos finally there is someone who can understand what i'm going through; THE STUCK FEELING.

    And you're very right, at the end of the day, kids are ours, we hold the greatest responsibility to what will they become in future. I don't wanna take any risk that concern my kids.

    I've seen a live example of a relative. She pursued her career after her third kid and now? Divorced. She's overseas. Two kids in SG and one kid with her overseas.

    To make it simple, One cannot have the best of both world. SIGH


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