The final closure!

擦干眼泪，一切重新开始！为了妈妈，为了孩子，为了自己，我一定会过得跟好！谢谢身边爱我的每个人！

After this issue, I realised there are a lot of redundant kpos in this world. 

I thought that as people grow older, they will be kinder with words and not interfere in other's problems, especially when it comes to family issues. 

Apparently, I was wrong!

There will still be people giving redundant comments (post on FB somemore) without knowing the whole truth. 

I mean, it's not wrong that you side with your own friends/family, it's not wrong either if you encouraged your friends/family to leave if they're not happy. But it's wrong if you started criticising and insulting the other party (publicly), when you're not even close to them, do you know how much they've struggled? So what right have you to comment anything? And what has it gotta do with you? (Just so you know, there's a high possibility of making the situation worse with your redundant and idiotic comments!) 

Everyone's fighting their own battle, be kind please! And if you can't be kind with your words, just shut up, nobody will say you're dumb! Don't be a shit stirrer! 

Meimei's first MRT ride!

Brought Meimei for her first MRT ride yesterday morning, despite having only 4 hours of sleep. Becos she refused to go to CCK (already two consecutive weeks), and I've to wake up (very) early to attend to her. And now, even Raeann also refused to go liao. It's okay, I think I shouldn't persuade them to go there anymore. If they're really important to you, you should put in effort to make them stay in your life.

It's perfectly fine to shoulder all the blames, I can't even be bothered to explain to anyone. Becos I've really tried my best, time will tell. I ain't fake, I'm just unable to control and hide my own emotions.

Anyway, Meimei has been asking me to bring her to take MRT. It's good that she likes to take public transports, she must learn not to be lazy.  

Made her walk to the bus stop to take a bus to the MRT station. She said, "but very hot leh", I said "no choice lor, you wanna take MRT right?" And she happily walked out, wearing my sunglass, lidat!

Inside the bus, Meimei was sitting on my lap, and then, I saw a pregnant lady boarded. I taught Meimei that she must give up her seat to pregnant aunties (and elderly), she asked me why, I explained to her. I asked that lady to take our seat, but she said it's okay, she's alighting soon. It's damn weird for me to give up my seat to her actually, cos I'm with a kid too. But I think those people around me were blind, they don't seem to have any reaction. Why huh? Inconsiderate much?

She was sucha good girl yesterday, carried her own wet tissue and water bottle (inside her bag) all the way. Though she wanted me to carry her a few times cos I think she was really very tired and sleepy, but when I said I've no strength liao, she wriggled her way down to walk herself. 

Our lunch, she asked for fish.

Ate by herself, asked for more! I always order one set to share with her. But if Raeann's around, I'll order two kids set and eat their leftovers. Usually, it's left with one heap of mess, lol. 

She saw this monkey and requested to take a photo with it.

She will ask, "mummy, can I buy this (and that)?" But when I say "NO", she will just put it back and follow me. I don't reject them every single time lah, I'll see if there's a need to buy it or not. To me, there's no need to buy them everything they want, just to prove that you love them. I think kids need our presence more than presents. 

Damn funny lor! She suddenly squatted down and talked to "it". I thought what she was doing sia. She said she saw bubble. Hahahahahaha #whyareyoualwayssofunny

Everyone's not born with the ability to handle/pacify kids. You learn, you try, you make mistakes and correct yourself from there. It's about the effort only, whether you want to do it or not. That's why I really hate it when people tell me "I DON'T KNOW HOW", I also don't know what, I wasn't born with that knowledge too. *rolleyes*

If you didn't wish to put in that kind of effort, please ah, stay single, 不要害人!

爱。。。不是

Hesitated for a long time before deciding to type all these down. Cos I've no idea how and who to vent it out, for I find myself fucking ridiculous and irritating too. So much so I feel like slapping myself hard. Hence, please pardon me or you can choose not to read it!

Today, I broke down, my tears just keep falling uncontrollably, after receiving the final news. I asked myself, "Isn't this what I wanted? Why am I still feeling sad?" 

I don't know why either... 

Maybe... I'm unsure of what I want.

Maybe... I'm just scare of the future.

Maybe... I'm worried of making my kids "fatherless", since they are not very close to him. 

I really have no idea but I guess my mum's reaction played a part. She broke down in public when I broke the news to her. It made me think "WTF am I doing? Why am I still making my mum cry and worried for me at this age?" 

I'm so so so sorry mum, Raeann and Meimei. 

I clearly know that he is not the one for me. We have tried many many times but it just didn't work out. I need a man with initiative and consideration. Someone who will hold my hand. Someone who will comfort me when I'm feeling down, hug and tell me that everything's gonna be alright. Someone who will respect me and treat me right. Someone who will say thank you to me for everything that I've done. Someone who will put in effort on me (and kids). All are just very simple requests, but I don't get them for the past 7 years, and thus, I felt unappreciated and unloved. 

But it's him, his character, I waited for so many years, begged for it so many times, but he's still the same. It's either I accept and live this way till the day I die or walk away. I've chosen the latter. 

However, even there is no love anymore, there are still feelings, it's been 8 years afterall. I'm a human and I'm not cold blooded.

I do not want or expect that I'll end up lidat today. I didn't get married for the sake of divorce. Who would? 

I didn't want to try again becos I'm afraid of repeating all the histories. Till the extend I've to keep reminding myself "no, he's not the one for me, move on, else both of us will suffer". 

Heard this song from YouTube just now, and I think it really suits my feeling...

我假装洒脱，只为了解脱。

爱不是。。。失去了才会懂。

爱不是。。。离开了才会痛。

可以拥抱的时候，是否真的爱过？

就算舍不得，我也只好微笑祝你快乐。

也许这就是最好的结果。。。

It shall be my last time crying for him and this marriage. After next week, it will be my turning point and I will start everything afresh. I will be happy! :) 

Perfectionist-ism sucks!

Le' sigh, I really hate myself for being such a perfectionist (my mommy said she's also lidat so I assume I inherited this gene from her), especially when it comes to art work. Often ruining the beauty of already-not-bad pieces, and then, regret!!! 

Those who are following my FB page, would have saw the reward board I handmade from scratch for my kids. Actually, I wanted to do it long ago, but lacks of the mood & motivation. In another word, lazy lah! (I think I need one board for myself too, lol!)

Total cost for making the board is less than $10. I bought the big board (comes in many different colors) at $3, and I cut it into half. 

Marker at $1.60 each but please don't use this, cos it keeps smudging and made me so busy cleaning, wiping and redoing it. (It takes long time to dry up!) 

Then I remembered I've this Little Twin Star decorative tape which I bought long ago but didn't have any chance to use, so I used it to make the lines. 

Well, I measured every columns and lines equally. Drew them with pencil before overlapping them with the silver marker. 

This is not completed yet. I've had a hard time drawing all the words letter by letter using stencil. Becos it smudged!!!

And then, the next day, I realised some of the letters are thinner than the rest, so I made some "amendments" to it, drew it fatter and fatter till it goes out of shape. So it resulted...

I erased (god knows why it can be erased away by eraser!) some of the letters/words away and redo. I was so damn very super upset. Cos it became uglier!!! Jitao moody and can't sleep at night. Urgh!!!

This morning, I erased everything and redo it becos I want them to align neatly. I think I really eat too full. I did halfway and left for LTA (work lah) & lunch and I received a shock when I'm back. I swear I feel like canning my bro. He went to touch and some of the letters smudged!!! So I erased and redo it again! Duhz! =.="

Now, I only need to wrap it up and I shall not touch it AGAIN. Walao eh!!!

Luminous pop up star & present stickers from West Coast Plaza. 5 pieces for $3.90.

OK, I NEED A BREAK NOW!!!

Q-T pie turns 3!!!

20th Sept - noon, met up with ML; one of my close friend, whom birthday falls on the 19th, for lunch and a mini celebration with the kids. No idea what to eat and where to go, Raeann suddenly popped out with a stack of coupons from Manhattan Fish Market and said she wanna eat there. She dug out her savings and said she wanna treat ML lunch or get her a little cake if her money is not enough. That's how sweet she is, though sometimes very stingy towards her own sister, lol. 

Checked out Manhattan Fish Market outlets and decided to go to the one at Star Vista. Somewhere not too far lah, since we had an initial plan to go for dinner with my aunt and cousins, but who knows they last minute can't make it, I think they just don't want me to waste money. I ish very paiseh lah, cos I didn't do any celebrations for them, yet they received so many presents. Thanks all for the love!!! 

Sidetrack: Did I mention that I trimmed Meimei's fringe myself last week? LOL

Eh, the food, okok only lor.

The kids received presents from her, and I have a share too, my very belated birthday present, lol. That's how long we didn't meet already, becos we are both very busy with our own life. Such a big bag of stuffs, Raeann asked "ML yiyi, how come mummy's one bigger than ours?" Walao, what a question leh!

It feels good to receive (surprise) gifts, regardless the content and price. It's a thought to show that you're not forgotten and people are appreciative of your existence, even when there isn't much communications. Agree?

I prefer men with initiatives, becos I don't like to ask for things. I always think that if someone loves me, he should be observant enough to know what I like/dislike. And I really really can't stand stingy men. #majorturnoff

Ice cream & waffles after lunch, and an impromptu lava cake with one candle for the 3 Sept babies!!! (Raeann insisted paying $10, lol.) I think September is my MOST busy month of the year. I'm so busy celebrating birthdaysss, lol. 

Then, a very impromptu decision to make a trip here - Playful Elves @ West Coast Plaza. Becos we wanted a place where we can sit down and chat and the kids have their own fun. And this place, is honestly quite appropriate. 

Parents can just sit and relax at one corner, and watch out for the kids as well.

It's kinda exp ($20 for 2 hours) and they have no socks ($3/pair), but they were like begging for it (please mummy, please) and becos it's Meimei's birthday (she was like "mummy pls, I can go in myself and I promise I won't cry for mummy ok?), so ok lor! Cannot always go ah, cos the mummy is kinda poor now! :(

Went to pick mom and Bo around 6pm and we went ahead with the dinner plan ourselves lah. Location at Blk 406, Jurong West St 42 - 81 Seafood Restaurant. 

This is so yumz!!! Seafood fried kway tiao! I've been missing it since yesterday!!!

And the best part, it's not expensive. We ordered about 7 dishes (small one though), 2 rice plus drinks, total bill is $65. It's a newly opened restaurant (few months old) so I assume not many people know about it? Moreover, it's hidden inside, doubt anyone will even notice about it. My cousins brought my mom and sis there once and they recommended it to me de. Worth it lah! 

Of cos she's very happy, so many presents, so many cakes, I want to be a kid (in this era) too.

Raechelle's 3rd Birthday ~ Pre-celebration @ Little Learners

Did anyone guessed it correctly? LOL

This cake was a very last minute order, cos I didn't want to order from the shop I ordered for Raeann. And thus, last Saturday, I went online to search thoroughly for "Pororo cake" AGAIN. Fortunately, I found this home baker. And luckily, she still can take in my order. 

[11th] Classy & Fabulous

Sponsored

So, can you guess my nails design for this month?! Not difficult to guess right? I already hinted so big above, lolol. Esther thought it for me de, becos as usual, I'm bery the lazy ah. They never failed to make me happy with all their designs, I lurve 'em all!!! 

I think my hand shake ah, cos the photos turned out so blur, I'm sorry. I paiseh to ask people to take for me lah, so please make do with the blur photos ok? Sometimes, photos with flaws look better, right? LOL! My toes have similar design so I didn't take photo of it. (Fact is, I cannot find the perfect angle to take beautiful & non-boring photo of my ugly toes! Le' sigh!)

Very classy and fabulous hor? Thanks Esther for taking two hours of her precious time to patiently do/draw it for me. It's so beautiful, I can't even. And oh, by the way, Pink Nail Studio has just gotten a new face lift!!! 

I super love their new wallpaper leh. It feels even more like home now, very cozy lor!

Pink Nail Studio

Blk 492 Jurong West St. 42

#01-32 Singapore 640492

☏ : 9227 7000 (Esther)

www.facebook.com/love.PinkNailStudio

百看不厌!!!

Last night, channel 866 was replaying "那些年, 我们一起追的女孩". I watched it more than 20x already, but I'm still lovin' it very much. I literally memorised the whole movie liao. HAHAHAHA

My friendssss msg me one by one to ask me to watch, they knew, it's my favourite movie. And then, my whatsapp was so busy. We discussed throughout the whole show, nagging about how stupid the main lead was, why this, why that. Lol

One of the group chat, hahaha! He's just making fun of me lah! I mosaic-ed the name becos I don't want unnecessary troubles for my friend, who is just joking around with me. I've plenty of guy friends becos I like to joke around, and I can take jokes. 我玩的起! (But what's so special about ponytail ah? I no understand leh!) 

No matter how many times I watched it, I always ended up with teary eyes becos it's so sad that they didn't end up together. Saddest part of a relationship, two in love didn't end up together. 

However, it's true that when your loved one met one who ℓσνє and dote on him/her, you will sincerely feel happy too. That's true love, I think. Love is not possession, love is appreciation. 

So much schooling memories flow back whenever I watch this movie. Does it happens to you too? I miss my school days too much, I think! 

I can watch 837289272 times and never get sick of it lor! 

Life's short, be happy! Laugh more! =D

Riders Cafe

Met up with an old friend for a short catch up over lunch earlier. I made him come and pick me up becos I hate driving, really. And I researched about this place, which is somewhere near my office. My first time there though... 

(Well, he's getting married soon, and I'm very happy for him. If only humans can be more open minded and not always think negatively, this world will be a better place.)

This place is very the ulu ah...

But very peaceful, I like!

However, it's a non aircon concept, so please dress lightly.

Their truffle fries is good!!!

My Crab salad (not in the menu), which is so-so only.

His no-idea-what-pork, I'm not sure if it's good or not cos I didn't eat!

(I got nagged for taking photos, lolol!)

Had 2 glasses of wine and I feel sleepy now, lolol.

Address: 51 Fairways Drive, Singapore 286965 (Bukit Timah Saddle Club) 

Tel: 6466 9819