Monday, October 13, 2014


Felt apologetic for making my family worried about me cos I suddenly broke down yesterday.

Becos I was super tired from the staycation as I woke up at 6+am & a few times at night. Cos sway sway, my Aunty visited me and I got a bad cramp. 

Then, I've to rush out an advert before 12am and I only reached home at 4+pm. 

And thus, when sticky Meimei refused to cooperate, refused to let me rest, and refused to find anyone else, I felt pressurised when I can't get my things done. You know the helpless feeling? And I cannot vent it out on anyone else except myself, so I just broke down. 

It was so lame lor. I rushed home to bathe & make up after picking Raeann. Took a few photos then remove make up, bathe again and concuss. So you see, being a blogger is not easy at all. All the behind-the-scene hard work, nobody knows. 

Besides that, we have to think of how to write, phrase them out nicely and most importantly, to make it interesting so that readers will be interested to read more. I think I'm not up to that standard yet lah. Especially now, when I'm having mental block most of the time and I can't think at all. 

But I was the one who requested for more advertorials becos I wanna earn more money. Becos I'm so worried that HDB will not approve my loan of $200k, due to my low salary.

Let's say, if HDB approved $150k, I'll have to top up $50k in cash. If that's the case, I'll have to give up the flat, becos I really cannot afford. My mommy said if I'm feeling so stress becos of the flat, just give it up. 

But you see, I need to plan for my girls, that's why I've to try my very best. In case if I really die early, at least I still leave a flat for them. And I already promised that I'll buy them nice beds. 

听天由命吧! Sigh...

This flat is a total burden, it caused me so much headache and stress. That's why I said, why do I need to struggle so much now, when I used to lead a princess life with no worries before I got married? 

For myself? NO. For the kids? When the kids aren't mine alone. But I've to bear 90% of the responsibilities, since they're born. 

(Fyi, $700 maintainance fees for TWO kids is considered very very little! Please don't think that you're doing me a favor, unless their surname is not yours? You should thank me instead!) 

The things I've to give up and sacrifice for them, all becos of my stupidity and one wrong decision, it ruined my whole life.

I'm blaming myself now. 

1 comment:

  1. You are very good blogger, and you are always on time on doing ads.. I love to read your blog alot.
    Everything will be okay. Im in deep stress as I force myself to finish lots of thing asap. Private o level in 2015 and early childhood course in 2016, I really got no time to rest at all, even wanna travel also hard either not enough money or not enough time, I was wondering when I will break down.. I'm rushing like no Tomorrow and I don't even dare to say I'm so stress I want to I've up. Cause I know this is what I what it to be. I blame myself now for not study hard enough last time..

    Sorry to rant in your blog.
    May you have the most wonderful days ahead.
    Jia you! Fighting!!


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