I wish to die early!

Sometimes, I really really feel like giving up everything. Times when the kids refused to cooperate, when the kids are so whiny, when I get so fucking super tired from looking after them (with a bad tummy cramp), and I just need a good power nap (just 30 mins will do) but I can't becos I need to pick Raeann from class. And in between, Meimei keep disturbing and pestering me.

I'm really very exhausted, and some people think it's so easy, I really have no idea why I need to struggle lidat? 

Not only that, I've to think of earning more money to pay for all the expenses. I wanna take up more adverts, but I've no time and energy to do. I wanna attend more events, but I'm so tied down by them. 

Times like these, I really hope that God can take me away earlier. Becos, that's the only way I can totally start my life afresh. 

No, it's not due to the divorce that I think this way. Becos even when he's around, he won't initiates to offer any help too. 

I can only blame myself for being stupid, twice. Believing all the craps that he will help, twice. Giving chances and caused myself to suffer again and again. And what's more? Not being appreciated, at all.