Tuesday, October 7, 2014

It doesn't pay to be kind!

Last evening, I've finally seen the real examples of "好心没好报" and "狗改不了吃屎". Initially I thought, people will appreciate my kindness becos I swear, I'm doing it out of no ulterior motives. But no leh, I was being framed of being "fake" and gotten all the shitty attitudes instead.

After so long, I REFUSED to talk/blog about all the shits becos,

1) He's afterall the kids' father, I don't want to spoil his reputation, neither wish to strain the r/s further. So despite all the nasty verbal abuses and shits I've gotten from him, I still choose to remain calm and silent, and shouldered all the blames alone. 

2) I don't want to affect the kids too much (like why their parents are enemies?), I already feel bad enough for making them go through all these shits.

But enough is enough, I don't think my kindness paid off in any way at all. Apparently, someone still don't think he did anything wrong, and everything is my fault, becos I initiated the divorce? Now, let me tell you honestly why I choose to leave him.

1) He's living in his own sweet world, doing all his own sweet things, treating us like transparent. Yes, he's working, of cos I understand, I'm not an unreasonable person. But even on Sundays, when he's not working, I asked him to bring us out, and his replies will be "I very tired", "I got no money", and he choose to sleep the day away. (For the past years, since Raeann's birth, we went on dates less than 10 times! This is how "nice" he treated me, really! He deserved the "best" husband award!)

Forever busy and tired when it comes to me and the kids, but always not busy nor tired when it comes to his own things or friends!

2) Fine. I allowed him to do whatever he wants, and handled the kids all by myself, despite having to work too. Tired what, nothing wrong, cos he's working sooooo damn hard, sitting in the office everyday, talk cock, smoke, perform magic etc. It's ULTRA tiring, I understand. And I thought, it's okay, we will stay together for the kids' sake, both of us will lead our own life, he do his own things and I do my own things lor. 

3) But then, he don't allow me to go out (but he can go out, and comes back late everyday). Whenever I go out, he felt very gao-wei. At first, he kept calling and calling me, asked me to pack food for him and whatever shit. Then, he started to get VERY abusive. (He don't bring me out NVM, don't allow me to go out too, am I in the prison?)

Prior to this, you may read part I here. (I actually removed it already, but now, it's okay, let people judge how "well" he treats me lor!)

4) Kept threatening me with the kids and kept threatening to hit me (when he already has past record of doing so), scolded me as and when he liked it, without getting any facts right. There was once he scolded me for about 2 hours, I refused to argue back becos the kids were sleeping, and he kicked my leg many times, said he won't allow me to sleep unless I get up to quarrel with him. 

5) He even threatened to kill himself in front of Raeann, made her cry in the middle of the night. Why wanna traumatize the poor kid lidat? 

6) On the day he left, he kept forcing the kids to leave with him, when they were already crying bitterly. I kept repeating, "it's late already, let the kids go to bed" but he continued shouting and screaming. He tried to pull away crying Meimei from me by force and pushed me. Both of them complained that their arms were in pain after that. (Raeann cried badly and told me, "mummy, I think I leave with him lah, if not he will continue scolding you, I don't want him to scold you anymore.") Has he ever thought, by doing all these, what kind of hurt will he inflicts on the kids? (I told him many many times, not to quarrel in front of the kids, but he never listen! I keep quiet lor, let him scold whatever he wants!) 

7) Every single time we quarreled (since many years ago), he brought up divorce and kept repeating that he's very unlucky to marry me, scolded me a slut and all the nasty words. (Maybe after this post, he will feel even more unlucky!) 

8) I suggested "Separation" at first, becos of our coming flat. But he suddenly called and msged me out of the blue one day, said he wanna divorce immediately and want nothing to do with me anymore. So he's the one who initiated the divorce, not me! 

(Let's not talk about the $25K OR 50% flat profit he asked from me at first, T&C for me in order to take over the flat, for the sake of his kids ok!) 

9) Ok then, I went to lawyer and HDB to do all the necessary procedures and documents. HDB gave me the dateline till 15 Dec to submit all the documents, or else the flat will be forfeited. He then said he don't wish to sign, he wanted to try again. BUT, as usual, it's all empty talks with no action. (I'll choose to give another chance for the sake of the kids if he had shown his actions!) 

Anyway, I filed under "Unreasonable behaviour" and thus, we need not wait for another 3 years. All the things he did and his msgs are enough for me to do it. 

A marriage cert is just a piece of paper. And if a couple is meant to be, the paper mean nothing.

So we went ahead to sign... And I felt, since what done cannot be undone, what we can do now is to make up to the kids with all we can, just to let them know that they will still get love from both sides. And I honestly thought that he will change for the better, pay more attention to the kids when I'm not around. But apparently, it's not the case. 

The kids complained that he keep sleeping and didn't accompany or look after them. (Hello? He only see them once a week!) Till both of them gave up and didn't want to go there anymore. They don't even want to answer his calls now. 

You can't expect people to love you when you treat them like shit. Not only adult will give up, kids will give up too. 

Raeann can still be bribed with gifts and playgrounds, but Meimei is totally NO NO. She would rather stay at home with Bubble (the dog) than to go out with her dad. The moment she heard her dad was coming, she quickly ran into the room and said she's very scare of papa now. I've no idea why she suddenly become lidat becos she was fine at first and I've never ever talk bad about her dad to her, at all. On the contrary, I've been putting in alot of good words for him. 

Initially, I was guilty cos I thought I was the one who strained their r/s (by separating them), so I tried to help and help... I msged him many many times, pleaded & urged him to spend more time with them, visit them often and etc. He choose not to. Till the extend, I offered to bring them out together so he can use the chance to get closer to Meimei. (I was thinking, it's so sad that your own kids refused to find you, but he seemed absolutely fine with it!)

So yesterday, Raeann called and asked him to bring her out for dinner. Yes, he came, I was happy that he did. Meimei, as usual, refused to go. So Raeann asked me to go along, Meimei will go if I go, my mom asked me to go too, since it's just a dinner. So we went, but I think, once is enough.

1) As usual, he lives in his own world, walk himself, forgotten that me and the kids were behind him. He opened the heavy glass door, talked on the phone and left the door to shut by itself, and Meimei almost got hitted by the door. 

2) While putting Meimei into the car, one of her leg is still out of the car, the door isn't close and I haven't got up yet, HE FUCKING DROVE OFF. Had I not shouted, and if his speed was faster, Meimei would have fell out from the car. (Nope, he didn't apologise, as usual!) 

3) Oh, and he brought Raeann and his family to KSL (JB), dumped Raeann to his aged father and happily went to modify his car. How absurd! 

So, am I wrong to get angry??? Like hello, even if I mean nothing to him now (talk about love huh?), I'm still his kids' mum, can't he be more considerate? Moreover, his own kids leh! And all his actions don't show that he loves them alot, as what he claimed???

If he wanna treat them lidat, do everything so unwillingly, might as well leave us alone, right? If he's gonna dump the kids to others, might as well don't bring them home/out. Why claimed that he's a very good father/husband, pretended to care about them alot, pushed all the blames to me when he's the one not putting in any effort at all?? 

Maybe till now, he still think that he's not in the wrong at all, everything is my fault, so he treated me like an enemy. Fine. From now on, I'm not gonna be kind too. 

What he did will only makes me feel, "good riddance, leaving him was the wisest decision I made for the past 30 years, or maybe entire life." 

Eh no, everything is my fault what, whatever I do is wrong, and the wrong-est thing I've done was, to marry him and gave birth to two kids and caused them to suffer. 

Maybe I should change my surname to 赖 or my blog address to MsForeverWrong.com? I should also change his name on my contact list to Mr Perfat.

2 comments:

  1. Even guys will 看不起 guys like him!

    ReplyDelete
  2. U hv done the right thing. The more i read the more angry im. He 无药可救。

    ReplyDelete

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