Wednesday, November 4, 2015

In need of happy pills!

Not to self.

Hi, I think I slimmed down, finally! :) I'm so mentally and physically tired till I can doze off anytime now. 

EAC is tearing all of us apart, lol. From nothing, "borrowing" a place from others and got chased out, facing attitudes and criticisms, to now, we have everything. All within a few months! So proud of EAC! 

But nothing comes easy, you know? How much effort & hard work we put in, sleep & time we sacrificed, nobody knows. Everything is causing us so mentally depressed, becos we barely have time for ourselves. There was a period of time when I was there everyday, Monday to Sunday. I brought the kids along. That's how much I am devoted to it.

"Tough time don't last, tough people do."

But lately, I realised that I'm not as tough as I thought I will be. I became so short tempered, easily irritated by little things, and I feel like giving up at many point of time. 

I told B I'll start looking for a new job becos we started to drift apart due to disputes from work. We see and handle things differently, and thus causing arguments. 

No, don't get me wrong, we still love each other, we do. But the overwhelming work made both of us very exhausted and hot tempered. 

He doesn't want me to work outside becos he's worried I'll meet other better man. Meeting others is inevitable, but holding on to our love is a choice, my choice. I must say it really takes a lot for him to say yes. He wants me to be happy. I appreciate his understanding. 

Although I feel sad and can't bear to leave behind the things I painstakingly set up, but I cherish our relationship even more, I don't want it to deteriorate further. (Unless our relationship can improve, otherwise, I think it's not worth risking it.) 

But I promised him that I won't leave until I find another job which I really really love. I've started hunting already. Wish me good luck! 

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