Sunday, October 9, 2016

A little part of ...

US. The main reason why I refused to go back to Senja nowadays is cos, I'm scared of the memories.

It's been a long time, since I last blogged about my house. I didn't stay there recently. I only go and open letter box, then leave. I'm scared, really. Everytime I go there, I tear. No matter how I control, I still tear. It's painful. 

Much as I dislike this house for causing so much pain in me, I love this house dearly too. Becos, it's the only asset I have for my kids. I put in a lot of efforts and it's the only memories left, of us. The feeling is really contradicting. I'm scared, but I don't wish to lose it either. Can somebody teach me what to do? 

Don't envy me for having my own place, becos you don't know how much I've been through. It's a painful process. If I can choose, I don't want this house at all. Many times, I'm left with no choice. The sweat and tears behind it, nobody knows. 
I'm tired, B. 

1 comment:

  1. I know how u feel.. cause I have the same issue now...
    But I intend to rent it out... So that I won't think so much whenever I go back to clean up...



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