Thursday, January 21, 2016

Hi Win!

Planned a half day leave cos Win (my helper) will be officially joining us today.

The reason why I rushed to get a helper, even before the house is ready, is cos of Bubble. Someone to help with the housework so that Mary can attend to Bubble more. But Bubble left before Win arrived! :( 


回家咯!!! Come back home Bubble. 

Erm, her urn is as cute as her. Just a fist size only. 

We can't gain if we can't let go. There's no love without tears, there's no happiness without sacrifice, and there's no forever without goodbyes...

不哭了! 因为那只会让你更难过,更放不下。我们都知道你不想走,所以你一直再忍痛。谢谢你的付出和牺牲。我们永远爱你。

Please watch over our mum from above ok? She loves you, just like how she loves us. You're like her 5th child. 

We miss you, Bubble. Miss your ting ting ting sound. Miss how you secretly hide your food everywhere. Miss the active & mischievous you. 

Hope you're having fun now. 

B will be back tomorrow. I need an extra comfort hug from him. He's blaming himself for not being around for me during this difficult time. He knows I keep crying, but there's nothing he can do cos he's so far. See you in few hours time B.

Oh btw, in just a few hours, the kids keep telling me how much they like Win. Can tell that she loves them too cos her two kids are almost the same age as them. 

She used to work in Thailand so she's able to speak Thai and cook Thai food. She can take very spicy food, which I like, cos I love spicy food too. 

Not too bad from what I see but still, need time to tell. 

Beautiful memories...

Didn't sleep well. Tears keep flowing uncontrollably when I read that Bubble has already been sent over the rainbow bridge last night.

Image of her telling me she wants to go to the new house again keep flashing on my mind. She wants, but she can't! :'(

I found a few of her baby photos on my previous blog...

The first day she came, feeling shy and scared. She was two months old, very tiny and cute. 
Brought her to work! :)

I used her photo to join some silly contest, she won the first prize, lol. 
All the photos looked so blur cos they were taken with Nokia phone, 8-9 years ago.
Our beloved vainpot.
Regretted neglecting her after the kids arrived. But it's not true that I don't see her as part of the family and don't love her. It's precisely I see her as part of the family, thought that she will always be around, not knowing that God is taking her away so soon. I'm sincerely sorry, Bubble. 

However, I'm glad I spent a lot of time with her, taking care of her and walked through her last journey with her for the last one month. It felt like how I took care of her when she was a baby. So fragile and vulnerable. 
Grieving is inevitable. Still trying to digest the fact that she won't be physically around anymore, I won't be able to see her anymore.
I know she's happy now, free from sufferings and pain, running around to find her friends. I hope she will always be happy, no matter where she is. She will always be deeply missed, loved & remembered.   

Wednesday, January 20, 2016

RIP Bubble

She's gone... to a better place. 

Mum came to my room at 5+am, telling me "Bubble 走了". I jumped up. And can't stop crying since then. (Even my dad cried lor!) 

She passed on peacefully in her usual sleeping position, hugging the pillow I just bought for her. No pain, no struggle and no sound. She looked like she's sleeping very soundly.

The last time I saw her (still) breathing was at 9pm last night, before putting the kids to bed. I asked her if she wants to go my house again? She blinked at me many times. 
I'm glad she went to our new house before, twice. :) 

The house door will always be open for you, Bubble. Feel free to come as and when you like. You're forever part of our family. Come back and see us!

Thinking on the bright side, she's free from sufferings & pain now. Everyone came back to see her for the last time, we took leave from work/school to send her off. 
Bubble Ng: 15th March 2006 - 20th January 2016

Bubble, you will always be remembered, forever and ever. Thank you for the past 10 years. I shall keep all the cute and fond memories of you in my heart now. Rest in peace. Love you. 

Monday, January 18, 2016

Only the first day...

Le bf has left for an urgent trip and will be away for the next 3 more days. We are facing some separation anxiety lor...

That's how close we are. Even when we argued and fought, we still stick together. Everywhere I go, he is beside, doing all his unreasonable stunts, protecting me from everyone and everything. We literally stick together 24/7, except at home. He brings me everywhere he goes. And he wants to follow me everywhere I go. Sick of each other? Surprisingly, no leh. 


I thought I can still be normal & good without him, cos afterall, I've been quite man for the past many years. But I've proven him wrong today, only the first day.

I dropped the house gate key into a stupid 无底洞, no way to get it back, can't get into the house until he's back. 

He kept laughing & saying "how can you do without me?" and "but I still love you b", while I was there sweating all over, trying to see where the key vanished.


He said, "for the next few days, you just go shopping, and buy whatever you want." 

Yah right. My car is so damn full. The kids almost have to sit on the roof already. LOLOL

Nonetheless, I had some good shopping today, even though I bought nothing for myself. 

$5 per pair. Can you believe it? Niceeeeee. Best buy of the day. Cotton On Kids. You're welcome.

The kids are so happy, they can't stop thanking me for it, cos they loved it. Can't help that their mother got good taste. Hahahaha

Pretty things can be very very affordable too. (I refused to use the word "cheap".) 

The dog who behaves like a human now. She got a new pillow too. She's literally super weak now, sleeping for the whole day, but still can't bear to leave us. Her condition these few days made me cry like crazy, really crazy. I can't control and can't stop. I'm not exaggerating. It's really very upsetting.

You know, it happened so suddenly. Last Friday morning, she suddenly lost all her energy, and lie down whole day. I'm still puzzled why and what happened? She got eat her food and take her medication. Why suddenly deteriorated so badly overnight?

I'm not gonna post her sad photos here cos I want to stay positive for this fighter. She's a very vain dog, FYI. I think she will hate me if I post her ugly photos up. LOL

Haiz. I miss my man; his daily hugs, kisses and nonsenses.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Slowly but surely...

ALL tiles completed!!! Yay! Now onto the next step - Carpentry. 
Doors are up too. But I wanna change the color of the toilet door frame. It's omg tak match. 

The reno has been ongoing for 1 month plus, very slow I know, and it's kinda messy. Cos B is a messy man. He can do one thing halfway, then starts another. But he will complete everything eventually. 

However, I cannot follow his pattern lor. I cannot do things halfway one. I must complete, before I start another.

You see, he haven't finish painting and cleaning, he wanted to fix the kid's bed. Then his paint dripped everywhere, made me clean and clean and clean. And he said I've OCD. -.-"

I argued with him over the sequence of things to be done and delivered, insisted the house to be cleaned up before installing and fixing of anything. He gave in to me anyway. Lol

Actually, he's trying to rush for CNY so we can invite immediate family and friends over for a meal. But to me, if can be done would be great, if can't also nvm. I'm not in a hurry lah. 

Just for you and my info, until now, I still don't know the theme and design, I have no idea what's he gonna do. He refused to tell me, just briefed me a little here and there. Sometimes I feel, he's a mystery man, nobody can guess him/what is he gonna do next, not even me. 

Went to change my address on my IC today, cos I've chosen & interviewed the FDW already. 
Say hello to erm, I forgot her name liao. Welcome to the family. Please be nice, and we will be nice to you too. 

My fat mermaid aka Raechelle is so freaking excited... She said, "can you ask the Aunty to play with me?" Her idea is, engaging a helper just to play with her nia. 

To be very frank, my life now, is a life I thought I'll never have, 5 years ago. Maid? Wait long long hor. I'm kena treated like a maid only. In fact, worse than a maid. Maid has salary and off days. I have nothing. 
I'm glad I stepped out, and moved on. Nonsense people will say I'm selfish, didn't think for my kids & etc. Com'on. I don't want to live my whole life complaining pathetically. 

My kids are very happy now. In fact, happier than before. My 4 YO said, "can you faster marry xxx? I like him leh." She's only 4, but she knows who genuinely love and care for her. (Le' bf loves her to bits!) 

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Rich & Good

At the rate I'm eating, there's no way I can slim down, lolol, stress.

I'm one who is very generous with food. B always say, "you can buy $400 worth of food, and give all away." Haha 

We were nearby to collect something. So I told B about this old school cake shop, they sell extremely soft and delicious Swiss rolls, I bought 6 boxes. 
B ate it on the spot, and even him, who doesn't really like cake, thinks it's good. 
My photo doesn't do any justice to the Swiss rolls. I went to google other photos...

It's really rich and good (eat liao also become rich & good), not cheap though, price from $8/roll onwards. 
This Meimei, is always super excited when she sees cake. She go and find candles herself...
I almost fainted. Lol

Then I told her, "this cake is very good when it's cold and taste like ice cream when it's frozen." 

I saw this next. She took out one minute later and complain that I lied to her, it didn't become ice cream. Duh