Enjoying sometime alone now while waiting for someone to wake up. We're going for a hi-tea date, lol!
It's amazing how we managed to "stay the same" after soooooooo long. But it's probably due to character. Cos if it's someone else, things will never ever be the same again.
Took me a long time to realise this, and yah, it's time to completely let go, and find someone new.
There's no point draining my brain cells, guessing what he's thinking anymore. Becos even if I got the answer, everything has changed, feeling is being buried by hurt, things will never be the same again.
Reality of Changes.
I'll not talk about this person anymore. And walk away whenever people talk about him. We're not enemies, we're not friends, we're strangers with memories.
My next relationship goal...
Yup! 不离开, no matter how much we fight or argue. And, we will always end the fight with hugs and kisses. Don't do anything behind my back becos that hurts the most.
Don't worry, if I managed to find one, I'll proudly announce to the whole world, "HE'S MINE!"
Things haven't been really smooth lately. I know, these are parts and parcels of life, everyone is going through it. I just wanna rant, to vent out all my frustrations. Afterall, this is my only frustration venting channel. I refrained myself from complaining too much cos I don't need any sympathy. But I don't want to hide. I'm tired, very tired, very very tired.
I used to be very scared of lightning. But yesterday, I was sitting there alone, watching the sea and lightning. I just feel... numb towards everything now.
There will be time when you just need to be alone. Cry it out. Wipe your own tears. And go back home to continue your daily routine.
I don't want to breakdown in front of my kids and mum, nor anyone else. I don't like to cry in front of anyone, that's not me.
Actually, things weren't that bad, becos I still have people backing me up & helping me out. I didn't cry becos of the problems I faced, I cried becos I'm tired.
It's really not easy playing both roles (father and mother). I've to think of ways to earn more money, I've to face nonsense & rejections at work, I've to face the kids' nonsense, I've to watch the kids' studies & behaviors, I've to do everything.
Was driving cust's manual car to workshop yesterday. It was challenging becos the gearbox is not functioning well, I've not driven a manual car for a long time, and the journey is not short.
My phone kept ringing. The kids. Meimei called and complain that Raeann make her then Raeann called and complain too. Then they called again to tell me about dog, again to ask me buy Mac, again to ask me to go home right away, again to complain about idk what what what.
Patience ran out and I scolded them and stopped answering all their calls. I know, they're not wrong becos they're kids. But I just have no time and mood to entertain them. Was busy trying to solve cust's car issue and my phone's batt ran out very fast.
People said, "you know you're blessed becos you've two kids". But I'm secretly thinking, "is that so?"
Without them, I don't have to work so hard. Without them, I've all the freedom. Without them, maybe I'll live longer cos I don't have to shout and scold everyday.
I'm splitting myself into many parts, I cannot focus fully on one thing. There's no one to share the burden with me. There's no one to talk and listen to me.
A brand new Toyota Hiace last night! We = me and Sam. I followed this customer for a long time liao, I know he definitely will buy! This deal is kinda funny, becos we're both not so familiar with commercial. Hahahahaha
And you know, Singapore is really small. The buyer's group of friends happened to know my sec sch friend. LOL
On the other hand, I also closed one Toyota Wish. I asked the dealer to handle for me! Closed Latio on Friday too! :)
A very fruitful week. This week gonna be very busy, doing my house things, viewings, handovers, settling customer's doc etc.
I put on weight liao, lol. Don't know if I should be happy or sad leh? I think it's the beer? Or the good food someone has been bringing me to? Haha
The light cost $19.90 only, I bought it online long long ago.
They (my sec sch friend and his uncle) only charged me $50 in total. They helped me to buy all the parts, and they're very very helpful, asked me to call them anytime if I need help.
I guess, I'm a not bad person. Becos whenever I open my mouth to ask for help, people will offer, and it's many. Was telling my mum, sometimes, I feel really thankful to meet so many people who are so willing to help me. My life is not perfect, not even great, but all these people made it better. Thank you so so so much, friends.
Hahahaha I won myself a HDL from the latest Cat B COE bidding!!! Why? Becos I don't think will go up lor, when everyone else think so.
Wahahahahahaha! It went down by $204. He's not the only one who said will shoot up. It's not sheer luck that I think so, but I really feel so. Why?
Becos the previous COE already shoot up $3K+ leh. Economy is so bad now, if it shoots up further, nobody can afford a car anymore. Govt is not stupid. Yah, Agent sold 200+ units from Motor Show but Agent is not 1 bid mah, at least 6-8 bids what. Aiya, like I said before, MANIPULATE is the word.