Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Karma

Someone left a comment on my previous post with the word "karma".

That's right. It's karma, I don't deny. And I didn't even react over it. I'm too tired to go against anyone now. However, attacking people when they're most vulnerable, doesn't make you a good person. :)

I'm very strong. But sometimes I get grouchy, vulnerable, weak etc too. Just becos I'm a human. 




This place holds ALOT of memories for us. "我在看 MRT!" Hahahaha 

我在慢慢放手了。。。

Cos it's too tiring to hold on, one sided. I'll not stop what comes may, and not chase what's gone anymore. 

Yes. There are plenty of regrets in me, but there's nothing I can do now. And I've been telling myself... "至少,我曾经拥有". I'm contented enough! He will forever be the best, in my eyes. Thank you for appearing in our lives. The connections and bond between us, are something no one else can replace. I'm glad we loved each other deeply before. 

谢谢你,曾经爱过我。

Waiting for the day when I look at our past MANY photos, I smile instead of crying. 

Feels damn weak sia, becos my 2 girls are consoling me everyday. 

Meimei:-
"Mummy, don't cry!"
"Raeann, I think we better stop the song, mummy is crying again."
"Mummy, u know when u put makeup, u can't cry?"
"Mummy, do you want people to look at you? If no, then stop crying." 

Raeann played her part too. She passed me tissue and pour warm water for me. 

They never ask why I cry. They just asked me not to cry anymore. Giving me the assurance that "they are always here for me". 



The two little imps who will never leave me. I'm thankful for them. This Meimei hor, every night she will repeat one sentence, "Mummy, can u face me to sleep? So I can kiss you?"

No, really, I'm not desperate for men. I can live without. But it's the "love" that existed made me so vulnerable. And it taught me a good lesson too. 

"We fight to hold on, we fight to let go."

We can't gain if we can't let go. There's no love without tears, there's no happiness without sacrifice, and there's no forever without goodbyes...

Monday, May 2, 2016

忐忑不安

I felt like I've returned to years back when I suffered from serious depression.

The fear of losing someone is so scary. This time round, it's my fault. I shouldn't be so stupid. I hereby wish to do a public apology to my dearest B. I'm sorry. 

He's giving us up. He doesn't love me anymore. I didn't cherish him. I'm sorry.

I should have seen a doctor way back. Now, nothing can bring back my B to me! :'( 

My mum said that everything's fated. If we're meant to be, we will be. 

But nobody knows how much I'm suffering inside me. I'm scared and lonely.
 
I know he has his reasons for giving us up. I know. And he's suffering deep inside too. But I don't want to lose him. God, can you bring him back to me? 

B, I'm sincerely very sorry. Can you don't give up on us? Can you give us another chance? I'll love & cherish you more. I've never felt so painful before. 
 
It has reached a point where I don't dare to on or touch my phone now. Becos I'm afraid I'll irritate him more! :( 

It's so hard to get him off my mind. There are so much memories at every corner of the house. 

Thursday, April 21, 2016

The few days at Taichung!

Had so much good food!!! Uniquely special cos I never had them in SG before. 


This, have lah. But it's so beautifully displayed. 





I've no idea what have I ate cos I just eat only lah. 

But well, Taichung is mad boring. Not my type of place to go for holiday. I hate sight seeing, unless is the beach. I hope nobody jio me to see palace, animals or mountains again. I'm totally NOT interested. I'll get bored till sick one. 


I love this!!! 又香, 又好吃, 又便宜!


Beginning to love 卤肉饭! Yum yum! 

Am not a leech when it comes to r/s, never was. But I hope to travel around the world with my loved one! :) 


There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. 

The sofa decal with so much help from my neighbour. Omg. He's such a nice chap. I can talk to him like a "sister". He helped me a lot with the TV set up, now decal. Hahaha becos he's a perfectionist, I trusted him to do it.

We (me, him, his wife and the kids) have a MHK date on Labour day! Heehee 

I'm going to buy a waffle machine for Raeann now! Can some kind soul share with me waffle recipe? 

Till then. 
XOXO

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Byebye again!


I seriously, honestly, absolutely have no idea what shit am I landing myself into. Was informed only yesterday that flight was booked and I'm supposed to be in the airport today's midnight. Nice. 

I don't know what to expect, don't know what to do and don't even know why I am there for. Just playing my part. 

First time I'm going overseas without a single bit of excitement, simply no feeling at all. 

I only hope I won't have to spend much there cos I don't have any income now. It's very stressful. (I haven't change any money, yet. Lol) 

Handling everything (+ my emotions) alone is crap. Sometimes, you just need a hug from your loved one to let you know that "he/she will be there for/with you." 

But well... Sigh

See this idiot! 



My mum just asked me what time I'll be back on Sunday. I said I don't know. She was like, "Jialat, everything you don't know!" 

Yup, it's true, I don't know everything. I don't care and don't bother to know. Just tell me what time I must be at the airport can liao. I don't even know what airline I'll be taking! Haha 

Time for bed! So mentally exhausted. 

Monday, April 11, 2016

Philips Android Box


Was given a FREE Android Box when I purchased my $799 display set TV. Collected it only few days ago cos I don't even know what the hell is it. 


Now I know. This is so cool. I'm really thankful to have a very helpful neighbour. He came over and help me set up for the whole afternoon.



Now we can watch all sort of movies, YouTube, FB on the TV now. The happiest are the kids. Cos I seldom watch TV one, like almost never.

Thursday, April 7, 2016

Looking back...

We have come a long way!


This picture shows it all.

Browsed through the house album on FB just now. You know my real purpose of posting/blogging? Not becos I like to show off, or I'm too free, but becos I can look/read back.

This house is the 'start' of all our arguments. Long story short, becos everything was unprepared. It took damn long to complete becos I've to wait for my salary before I can buy anything. Till date, I've already threw in about $30K or more. This house made me poor, damn poor, until I don't even dare to count how much I've spent.

Just so you know, all my miniature furniture are cheapo. Like my TV console hor, $99 only, lolol. But seriously, who cares right? I like it can liao.


Another favourite cheapo is this shoe cabinet from Ikea, also at $99/each.


3rd cheapo will be this sink (C/w all the things inside the photo + tap but I sold the tap at $25? Can't remember. Becos I already bought my own tap!) from Carousell at $40. After selling the tap, it costs like $15 only. Hahahaha

I get very high when I think of how cheap all the things I bought, like wow, I SAVED SO MUCH. But of cos, there's a price to pay. I sacrificed my sleep for months just to source for all of them. I think I'm even more budget than BQQ now. lol

If you're just like me, no budget to engage an ID, no worries, come to me, I'll share with you all my tips I researched over the last many months. If not, go to my FB album, I shared all the details there when people asked.

Anyway hor, I think I'm going Taiwan again next week for 4 days 3 nights. I'm trying to reduce it to 3 days 2 nights instead. Not for holiday, and I just spent 7 days there! OMG. It's a sponsored trip though.