Friday, October 31, 2014

Teddy & Me

Saw this cute little café the other day (about 2 weeks ago actually, lol) when I went to collect my prize from Pazzion (FB contest) at Marina Square... So I decided to have my lunch there, alone! My sis and SIL asked why am I so lonely? Lonely meh? It's good to be alone at times, to enjoy some peace. I'm kinda used to be alone now. Not gonna lie, yes, there are people trying very hard to get their way into my heart and life, but since I'm not ready yet and I don't wish to lead anyone on, the only way is to avoid. (Sorry if I've hurt you, I really don't mean it.) Aiya, leave everything to fate lah! 

It's Mr Bean themed cafe! 

Thursday, October 30, 2014


Disclaimer: I don't like him becos I don't like single eyelid men. But some of his songs are really not bad! 

Like this old song above, the MTV looks so familiar, becos I've been through such scenarios before. Hahaha! 

My ex bf used to be a "hero". I forgot how many times I've bailed him out before, how many times I've seen him fighting before (cup almost flew across my face once, lol), and how many times I've to send him to & fro hospital and take care of him before? Now I think back, my life used to be quite "exciting" sia. Lol (Scarred for a lifetime and I don't think I'll ever forget about it, scary lor!!!)

He's getting married this coming Dec and I'm genuinely happy for him. We're only friends, nothing but purely friends. (你一定要幸福啊!)

OMG, so many red bombs for the next 2 months!!!

Back to the song... 

The lyrics is so meaningful too, "我们都没有错, 只是忘了怎么退后". 

Hanor, hanor. How many times when we are angry, we forgotten to put down our ego, say and do things to hurt our partner? 

80% of humans are lidat, I think. A r/s can last if one party knows how to give in. And if both parties refused to give in, can #kthxbye liao.

#sotrue #itslife

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

It's not easy...

Can someone teach me how to attain the "live in my own world" power? Whereby, I can ignore all the kids' fight and noise, ignore their needs, ignore everything and just live in my own sweet world?

I just canned the kids. 

I really don't understand why they must fight everyday, over all the stupid things? 

Raeann won a new toy from pasam malam, Meimei kicked it under the bed (no idea is deliberate or accidental). Raeann screamed at her and insisted to kick her stuffs back. 

I need to lecture again. 

Teaching Raeann do homework, Meimei also want to do, want to sit beside her jiejie to do her own work, Raeann don't allow, screamed at her to go away, Meimei smacked her. 

I need to lecture again. 

Meimei's iPad has no battery. She wanted to borrow her jiejie's one as she's not using. Raeann has another sony given by her good daddy. So I said, one use sony and one use iPad. Raeann refused to lend. They fought. 

(I usually don't allow them to use during weekdays. But cos exam period is over, I allow them to use awhile.) 

I need to lecture again. 

And when they refused to listen, I'll have to take my cane out. 

Nope, it's not fun to cane them and I really dislike it. I'll only cane them when they go overboard. 

They bring me a lot of joys but they bring me an equal amount of angers and frustrations too. 

Mountains of homeworks to clear with Raeann & two always fighting kids, almost everyday. That's my routines everyday after a whole day of work. And it's not tiring? I'm lucky cos I don't have to do housework, wonder how those supermoms cope? 

Boyfriend? How am I able to have one, when my schedule is so packed, so tied down by them? 

Even when I attend any events or dinner, I'll try to rush to pick Meimei and home, to teach spelling or homework. 

So when I thought I finally can rest once a week & have some me-time cos they will go to their dad, they refused to go. And no choice, I've to look after them and plan programs for them. 

I'm selfish? Don't see which part of me is being selfish? Even though I really dislike all the routines I'm doing, I still do becos of one word; responsibilty. 

I too, have plenty of expenses to pay for. My car, Meimei's school fees, Raeann's school & bus fees and etc. So am I not allowed to feel stress, worried and tired? 

Am I not human? Why are people always thinking and saying all those unfair statements that makes me sound like a fucked up and selfish mom/person? (Who is the real selfish one?)

Sorry, I'm not boasting that I'm a very good mom becos I'm still far fetched from it. But it's only so much I can take, as a woman & a princess who don't have to do or worry about a single fuck at all before being a mom. Moreover, I could have a better life, go to Japan and focus on my career. (This is a knot inside my heart which I forever can't let go.)

But why do I want to get married so young & have kids? Doing all my basic duties as a mom? Becos I'm not selfish. When I gave my youth and my entire life to this man, I was hoping that he will take care of me AND our kids forever. But just too bad, becos he doesn't, I've to learn to be strong, and get stronger each day.

Quoting from someone, "人在做, 天在看", уєѕ I totally agreed. God is the only one who knows how much I put in for this family. If I divorced out of my personal interest, I'll not fight for the kids at all.

Life's sucha bitch! If only I can turn back time...

By the way, I hope people can stop dragging my kids or family into any topic (I already said this many many times), becos I'll get really aggressive. Comments like "I pity your kids" is totally redundant. In what way does my kids look pitiful to you? Did I torture or abuse them? Did I not feed or look after them well? Did my kids complain to you about me? So, think twice before commenting.

I ranted on my blog becos it's my blog, my personal space. Of cos, I can don't post about my true feelings, and let people think that I've sucha perfect life, but it will totally defeats my purpose of having a blog, becos it's not the real me anymore.

But one thing for sure, I don't kpkb everyday about every single minor thing. (I know of someone who does it for years already and I'm totally impressed by her. Salute!) Becos I really learn to count my blessings and try to be positive. 

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Hello Malacca!!!

Date: 25th - 26th October 2014

This post will be slightly different, I'll use plenty of photossss to talk about my Malacca road trip, with some captions. (Actually, I'm a little confused over the photos sequence, cos I took them with my lousy camera & iPhone and I took quite some time to sort it out! Why I can take so many photossss in just one day ah? LOL) Afterall, a picture speaks a thousand words, isn't it? So, here it goes...

My bro told me 9am, so I woke up at 7:30am to prepare and ended up waited 1 hour 23 mins for him. Damn molly lor, next time I'll wake up one hour later. His otw = just wake up, reaching soon = just left home, lolol.

Sunday, October 26, 2014


Has anyone experienced this before...

The fear and phobia of starting a new r/s, becos you're scare of wasting time on it and it eventually don't work out?

I am like that now.

And I keep pushing people away. I don't know what to do. I'm in a very confused state now, that's why I need time to sort out my thinking & feelings. There are so many factors to think about. So many till I've no idea which to start thinking first. I can only say... 我的心好累, and it can't afford to break any further.

There's a saying goes, "time will prove everything" and now, I'm waiting for time to prove it to me, and let me see if you're really the one for me. If you're really sincere, I'm sure you will wait... wait till I'm ready. And when I'm ready, I'll let you know, provided you're still there.


Oh, HIIIII, I'm back from Malacca!!! Time passes so fast lor, I want to go again!!! But then hor, I don't know where all my money goes to? I spent about RM600+, but I didn't buy much things, my bag wasn't even filled up!!! I think I spent mostly on FOOD. Le' sigh...

Will blog about the trip when I've the mood. Till then!

Good night, world.

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Just being random...

Just done 3/4 packing for my Malacca trip tomorrow, a very impromptu trip planned by my bro on Wednesday. I've been wanting to go there (cos never go before), so it's a rare chance for me, with transport and hotel fully sponsored by my bro (tio forced again, lol). Expenses has been sponsored too! It's a free trip for me! Hahaha, feels good to be loved. Thank you, 谢谢, arigato, kamsahamida to them!

(I forgotten that Cheryl planned a Teppanyaki session on Sunday!!! OMG, so paiseh, I'll rush back from Malacca and rush to her place with the kids! Pattern chut ga liao, now Teppanyaki, what's next again? LOL)

But hor, I haven't been feeling well for the past few days, my tummy bloat and pain like hell!!! I just took some medicine and hopefully, I'll be all well by tomorrow. Else, I'm gonna miss out a lot of good food!!! No way!!!

Thanks to my (ex) BIL and SIL for helping me to send Raeann to her class. (I still need their help one more time cos I've a wedding lunch on Nov 15! Thanks in advance!) As for Meimei, thanks to my aunt for helping.

So, I'm home alone now. And I started to think too much again. I'm thinking... Omg, I suddenly 闪电结婚, and now, I suddenly 闪电离婚, NEXT YEAR CNY HOW??? (Till now, it still feels abit surreal to me!)

I'm sure to be bombarded with PLENTY of questions, confirm + chop. Jialat liao, should I escape by going overseas?

My routines on CNY has been fixed for the past 7 years, so next year will be different too. Maybe I should start jio-ing my friends for mahjong and so we can have marathon mahjong, like the past.

Ѕhit man, why am I thinking and worrying about next year now? Lol

But it's indeed stressful when people don't understand, especially old folks! Even when I explained 500 times, they still won't understand. That's why sometimes, it's better to stay silent, than to waste your breath explaining to people who never wish to listen, becos human only listen to what they want to listen. 
Haiz, 走一步, 看一步吧!

Anyway, I'm onto my 7th set of Invisalign now, was given 8th and 9th set for the next 4 weeks and congrats to me, I'll be almost halfway through liao!

That's very fast!!! OMG

I can literally see and FEEL my teeth shifting becos it's fucking soar and painful. HUR HUR! First 3 days are always hell! But no worries, still able to eat (cos need to remove), unlike braces! Haha

The journey is really amazing, can't wait to see my fucking straight teeth, lol.

And, PLEASE WATCH THIS SPACE cos next week I'll be reviewing something fantastic and GIVING AWAY one set of what I've reviewed to one lucky reader. I should say it's the best giveaway on my blog till date. So excited thinking about it now!!!

O'rite, I need to knock out now. Happy weekend, everyone! =D